helen’s ladder
her ladder leads down
from somewhere under her bed
leads down to her world
she named immonde
she climbed down her ladder
because she was curious
because something grew
within her stomach
something with claws
but the going was tough
no easy descent
not surprising then
that the first time
she reached the bottom
it was on the padded paw of a tiger
surprising though
that through its coat
she felt the jungle heat on
her woman’s skin
the wet lushness of the undergrowth on
her woman’s breast
the second descent was harder
the rungs were no longer there
some resisting matter had replaced them
matter like water
but more like mucus
the mucus of other people’s thoughts
but she got down there
she dove headfirst
it was flames that swept her back
not mucus as she’d first thought
but she got down there
her arrival warm and sweet and liquid
the dancers she found the third time down
their dancing the dancing of the earth
their beauty untouched by the world above
somehow
these were wild women
their eyes a rushing of time
their skin flower petaled
leaf enshrined
bits of earth and air
their breath both fire and water released
to swirl and mesh
without extinction
traveling across frontiers
into one another’s realms
intuitively
organically
until they spoke in tongues
she learned their language
did not ascend again
for she was wild
her hair like fire
her eyes like wind
and she’d given birth to something
with claws
on padded feet.
“helen’s eyes” was originally published in Licking Honey Off A Thorn: An Anthology of Poems from the Ontario Division of the League of Canadian Poets (W)rites of Spring 1998. The copyright of this poem remains with me, Monique Chénier. Please credit me if you share it, and kindly direct people to my website.
Note: The “helen” referenced here is the preeminent French philosopher and writer Hélène Cixous. This poem was inspired by Three Steps on the Ladder of Writing which explores what she calls ‘the strange science of writing.’